PET FOOD FOR PEOPLE
Dear Doc Flinkey,
Once again, I ask for your esteemed advice in a matter of some delicacy.
A good friend of mine, who has hitherto lived an unimpeachable life, has developed a strange new obsession. And frankly, I am deeply concerned for his welfare.
As a child, my friend had a penchant for dog cubes and cat biscuits. It started when his parents banned him from eating snack food as a result of some minor indiscretions on his part. He discovered that he could get stuck into the animal food without being caught, and ended up liking the stuff so much that he was still chowing down on them after the ban was lifted. His unwitting parents actually thought he was such a good boy for not eating junk food after the ban was lifted, that they rewarded him with a new bicycle. If they had only known the truth...
Anyway, as he grew up, his childhood love of animal food became a distant memory. But, I discovered recently that he is back on the stuff. Moreover, not only is he back on the stuff, but he reckons it tastes great, and that there is money to be made in preparing cat and dog food for humans. He told me that the only reason more people aren't eating cat and dog food is because of the warning on the labels, that reads "NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION". Therefore, he plans to start up a business making cat and dog biscuits for humans out of quality butchered meat, rather than whatever happens to be scraped up off the abbatoir floor.
He's got a whole heap of crazy slogans "Frimpy's dog cubes for people - brings out the GRRR in you!". Needless to say, all these slogans are dire. But he's already re-mortgaged his house to finance his new enterprise, and has quit his job at the belt factory. Lately, he's been talking to Dairy Bell about licensing a range of cat-biscuit flavoured ice-cream.
I worry for his children's future.
Please help,
hognogger
Dr Flinkey:
Dear Hoggy,
Not many people know (and those that have known have been found dead on regular occasions!) about the history of the term "NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION."
Let me begin at the beginning...
Before the introduction of manufactured pet foods, most dogs and cats lived off of grains, meats, table scraps and homemade food from their owners. It wasn’t until the mid-1800’s that the world saw its first food made specifically for dogs. An American electrician, James Spratt concocted the first dog treat. Living in London at the time, he witnessed dogs around a ship yard eating scraps of discarded biscuits. A light bulb went off in his head and shortly thereafter he introduced his dog food, made up of wheat meals, vegetables and meat. His company flourished and by 1890 he was taken over by a large corporation and production had begun in the United States as well.
But it wasn’t until the early 1900’s that pet food really caught on. Canned horse meat was introduced in the United States under the Ken-L-Ration brand after WWI as a means to dispose of deceased horses. The 1930’s saw the introduction of canned cat food and dry meat-meal dog food by the Gaines Food Co. During WWII metal used for cans was set aside for the war effort, which nearly ruined the canned pet food industry. But by the time WWII ended, pet food was off and running again, and sales had reached $200 million.
However, WWII was also a period where daily nutrition for humans was difficult to maintain. It was almost impossible to purchase seeds to grow fruit and vegetables and most produce grown was processed for the war effort. Fresh dairy and meat products were scarce. As a direct result, people became less healthy and the the criteria relevant to the war effort rejection process (not fit for active service) extended to include those who were nutritionally deficient. Obviously, a person who could not eat well enough to be healthy was not "fighting fit."
But a quite ingenious businessman (and proprietor of Perry Pee Pet Foods) Mister Perry Peewinkle Esq knew opportunity when it knocked. The fighters that Uncle Sam rejected, made Perry Pee the best. Perry posted prolific notices at armed forces recruitment centres offering the poor souls deemed unsuitable for the war effort a chance to contribute (themselves) to the glory of victory.
Thus the phrase "NOT FIT, FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION" was coined. Note the comma. Yes my dear Hoggy, rejected conscripts and volunteers in their thousands ended up as bully beef and rations!
The only things that have changed since these dark war years is:
(1) The source of the human resources that go into pet food. Today, in Australia, Centrelink is the prime supplier of downtrodden types to the pet food industry.
and
(2) The comma has been discreetly removed from NOT FIT, FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION
Ironically, as a result of dog health problems we’re now seeing a trend toward natural, holistic, raw, and yes, homemade, human-quality pet foods – not too different from the type of foods folks fed their pets before pet food ever existed.
So your fears are unfounded.
Your friend has actually been consuming processed human flesh, not dead horses and pig gristle and his new venture could help to rectify an ethical problem with current pet food processing practices.
Dear Doc Flinkey,
Once again, I ask for your esteemed advice in a matter of some delicacy.
A good friend of mine, who has hitherto lived an unimpeachable life, has developed a strange new obsession. And frankly, I am deeply concerned for his welfare.
As a child, my friend had a penchant for dog cubes and cat biscuits. It started when his parents banned him from eating snack food as a result of some minor indiscretions on his part. He discovered that he could get stuck into the animal food without being caught, and ended up liking the stuff so much that he was still chowing down on them after the ban was lifted. His unwitting parents actually thought he was such a good boy for not eating junk food after the ban was lifted, that they rewarded him with a new bicycle. If they had only known the truth...
Anyway, as he grew up, his childhood love of animal food became a distant memory. But, I discovered recently that he is back on the stuff. Moreover, not only is he back on the stuff, but he reckons it tastes great, and that there is money to be made in preparing cat and dog food for humans. He told me that the only reason more people aren't eating cat and dog food is because of the warning on the labels, that reads "NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION". Therefore, he plans to start up a business making cat and dog biscuits for humans out of quality butchered meat, rather than whatever happens to be scraped up off the abbatoir floor.
He's got a whole heap of crazy slogans "Frimpy's dog cubes for people - brings out the GRRR in you!". Needless to say, all these slogans are dire. But he's already re-mortgaged his house to finance his new enterprise, and has quit his job at the belt factory. Lately, he's been talking to Dairy Bell about licensing a range of cat-biscuit flavoured ice-cream.
I worry for his children's future.
Please help,
hognogger
Dr Flinkey:
Dear Hoggy,
Not many people know (and those that have known have been found dead on regular occasions!) about the history of the term "NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION."
Let me begin at the beginning...
Before the introduction of manufactured pet foods, most dogs and cats lived off of grains, meats, table scraps and homemade food from their owners. It wasn’t until the mid-1800’s that the world saw its first food made specifically for dogs. An American electrician, James Spratt concocted the first dog treat. Living in London at the time, he witnessed dogs around a ship yard eating scraps of discarded biscuits. A light bulb went off in his head and shortly thereafter he introduced his dog food, made up of wheat meals, vegetables and meat. His company flourished and by 1890 he was taken over by a large corporation and production had begun in the United States as well.
But it wasn’t until the early 1900’s that pet food really caught on. Canned horse meat was introduced in the United States under the Ken-L-Ration brand after WWI as a means to dispose of deceased horses. The 1930’s saw the introduction of canned cat food and dry meat-meal dog food by the Gaines Food Co. During WWII metal used for cans was set aside for the war effort, which nearly ruined the canned pet food industry. But by the time WWII ended, pet food was off and running again, and sales had reached $200 million.
However, WWII was also a period where daily nutrition for humans was difficult to maintain. It was almost impossible to purchase seeds to grow fruit and vegetables and most produce grown was processed for the war effort. Fresh dairy and meat products were scarce. As a direct result, people became less healthy and the the criteria relevant to the war effort rejection process (not fit for active service) extended to include those who were nutritionally deficient. Obviously, a person who could not eat well enough to be healthy was not "fighting fit."
But a quite ingenious businessman (and proprietor of Perry Pee Pet Foods) Mister Perry Peewinkle Esq knew opportunity when it knocked. The fighters that Uncle Sam rejected, made Perry Pee the best. Perry posted prolific notices at armed forces recruitment centres offering the poor souls deemed unsuitable for the war effort a chance to contribute (themselves) to the glory of victory.
Thus the phrase "NOT FIT, FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION" was coined. Note the comma. Yes my dear Hoggy, rejected conscripts and volunteers in their thousands ended up as bully beef and rations!
The only things that have changed since these dark war years is:
(1) The source of the human resources that go into pet food. Today, in Australia, Centrelink is the prime supplier of downtrodden types to the pet food industry.
and
(2) The comma has been discreetly removed from NOT FIT, FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION
Ironically, as a result of dog health problems we’re now seeing a trend toward natural, holistic, raw, and yes, homemade, human-quality pet foods – not too different from the type of foods folks fed their pets before pet food ever existed.
So your fears are unfounded.
Your friend has actually been consuming processed human flesh, not dead horses and pig gristle and his new venture could help to rectify an ethical problem with current pet food processing practices.
posted by hognogger at 4:18 p.m.
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