"I'M BORED"

My letterbox is usually overflowing with pleas for help from my audience here. If I could choose a recurring theme that irks me most, it is this one. There are so many bored people out there. And yet, the solution to this problem is so clear and obvious, it really annoys me that I have to hit them over the head with it. In any case, if you suffer from chronic boredom, I can help.

Just follow these easy steps.

(1) Locate your hippocampus.
(2) Take a powerdrill. Use the narrowest drill-bit you can find.
(3) Sterilise the drill-bit and affix to drill unit.
(4) Bore gently into your skull, inserting the drill-bit no more than 2 centimetres beyond the surface of the hippocampus.
(5) Remove the drill-bit from your skull.
(6) Enjoy a boredom-free life!