ANNA KOURNIKOVA AND THE BRIDGE OF BALLS

Oh - before I duck off to take my leave, I feel compelled to share some more great words from my mentor, the incomparable Dr Flinkey.

Dear Dr Flinkey,

I have a friend who is obsessed with Anna Kournikova.

OK, you say, that's not so unusual, so what's the problem? Well, my friend used to go and see her every year at Round 1 of the Australian Open. Since she retired, however, his behaviour has become progressively more erratic. His latest plan is to try and gather to himself every tennis ball that Anna ever hit. He then plans to cut them open, flatten them out, and use them to make a bridge to Russia so that he can head over there to see her.

He's been putting up ads up for tennis balls on the internet and in all the major newspapers. This is sending him into heavy debt. I'm afraid for him. Can you you help?

Your expectant patient,
Hognogger

Dr Flinkey: Yes I can help, as she lives in California and/or Florida he won't need so many tennis balls.