HOGNOGGER'S TIPS - TIP 3

Well, since this is a new blog, I don't want it to look threadbare. So I reckon I will post a few things today and, in all likelihood, forget that this blog exists thereafter.

There are times in your life when you just know that you will be forced to be somewhere you don't want to be. I'm afraid that there is just nothing I can do about this. However, I can offer you some really useful information that you're going to find quite helpful in some of these situations.

You see, some of these situations involve music, conversation, and/or general noise that you'd rather not experience. Of course, the best option when confronted with such situations is to take yourself out of them as soon as possible. Where this is not possible, though, you need to come prepared; you need to soundproof your head.

How to Soundproof your Head

STEP 1
Purchase two packing blankets and a piece of rope.

STEP 2
Arrange the blankets so that they both cover your head front-to-back. Have a friend circle the rope around your neck several times and fasten it securely. (If you don't have a friend, don't worry. We'll cover that issue another time.)

STEP 3
Scream.

If you have successfully applied these steps, then no-one will be able to hear you, and your head will be sound-proofed. Congratulations. You will now be able to approach most unpleasant auditory experiences with equanimity.

If, on the other hand, a muffled sound can still be heard by casual onlookers, then you have two options. You may decide that you can live with this partial leakage of sound. However, if you decide that this leakage is unacceptable, you can dip your head in cement to ensure complete soundproofing (as an added bonus, asphyxiation will follow soon after).