HOGNOGGER'S TIPS - TIP 2
You know, I'm often pulled up on the street by passersby. Of course, they want to know all manner of things. But one questions that seems to be on many lips, especially in recent times, is "How does one get into the Music Industry?"

Now, as much as I love being asked questions on the street, and as much as I enjoy gently guiding those lost souls who are in need of my aid, I must confess that the frequency with which I'm asked this question is inducing tedium.

So, on the off chance that I ever meet you, dear reader, I'm going to make damn sure you never ask me this question.

In any case, I am pleased to reveal the definitive answer to the question, "How does one get into the Music Industry?"

STEP 1
Find a large cardboard box. Just how large will depend on your physical dimensions.

STEP 2
Write "The Music Industry" on the outside of the box. Use a biro if you want to be a bit-player, a felt-tipped pen if you want to be moderately well-known, or a big, fat texta if you want to be really famous.

STEP 3
Climb into the box.

STEP 4 (optional)
Close the flaps of the box and seal yourself in. Take this step if you don't want to be able to get out of the music industry.