THE MAN WHO DESIRED TOO MANY PRINTERS
Dear constant and most worthy Dr Flinkey,
I have a friend who has a problem, but he is too shy to contact you directly. So I am speaking on his behalf. The problem is with his Hewlett Packard Deskjet printer. He'd only ever had one printer before this one, and it was an old dot-matrix model that he picked up from someone's nature-strip. Unfortunately, it was waterlogged and wouldn't interface properly with his PC. He kept it around for a little while, but in the end, he had to let it go.
He thought he'd never find another printer, and this made him feel deeply sad. He felt that he was destined to make his way through life without a printer. As he made his way each day to the belt factory, his travels took him past a computer shop. Each day he would gaze wistfully into the windows at the beautiful, shiny and new printers in the shopfront.
However, one day everything changed for him. His maiden aunt died. He was her only living relative, and so, naturally, she left her entire estate to her cat. All, that is, except for her Deskjet printer. This she bequeathed to my friend.
At first, he was a little nervous around it, and it didn't operate entirely smoothly for him. However, after a little patience, perseverence and reconditioning, it was as good as new, and served him well for several years, and they were both very happy. The Deskjet printed pages for him every day, and he stopped walking past the computer shop on his way to work.
So what's the problem then? Well, lately, he's been feeling himself drawn to other printers. He knows that the fact that he now has the confidence to think of owning other printers is solely due to the devotion shown him by the Deskjet. So, of course, he feels somewhat conflicted and guilty. What should he do?
Your expectant patient,
Hognogger
Dr Flinkey: Sorry to disappoint you Hoggy, but your friend is not telling you the whole story.
He has been to many therapists claiming he has un uncontrollable urge to upgrade his printer (even though the current model has been kind and true.) Each of these therapsits (quite rightly) asked to see the former printer in situ to determine the "environment" of the relationship.
Well - you may be shocked to know that he had an "accident" when showing his affection to the printer. As a result - he is too embarrassed to go home and wants to get a new printer and a new house to live in.
Don't believe me, huh? Well I may need to break doctor-client privilege and show you the evidence - for your own good:
Dear constant and most worthy Dr Flinkey,
I have a friend who has a problem, but he is too shy to contact you directly. So I am speaking on his behalf. The problem is with his Hewlett Packard Deskjet printer. He'd only ever had one printer before this one, and it was an old dot-matrix model that he picked up from someone's nature-strip. Unfortunately, it was waterlogged and wouldn't interface properly with his PC. He kept it around for a little while, but in the end, he had to let it go.
He thought he'd never find another printer, and this made him feel deeply sad. He felt that he was destined to make his way through life without a printer. As he made his way each day to the belt factory, his travels took him past a computer shop. Each day he would gaze wistfully into the windows at the beautiful, shiny and new printers in the shopfront.
However, one day everything changed for him. His maiden aunt died. He was her only living relative, and so, naturally, she left her entire estate to her cat. All, that is, except for her Deskjet printer. This she bequeathed to my friend.
At first, he was a little nervous around it, and it didn't operate entirely smoothly for him. However, after a little patience, perseverence and reconditioning, it was as good as new, and served him well for several years, and they were both very happy. The Deskjet printed pages for him every day, and he stopped walking past the computer shop on his way to work.
So what's the problem then? Well, lately, he's been feeling himself drawn to other printers. He knows that the fact that he now has the confidence to think of owning other printers is solely due to the devotion shown him by the Deskjet. So, of course, he feels somewhat conflicted and guilty. What should he do?
Your expectant patient,
Hognogger
Dr Flinkey: Sorry to disappoint you Hoggy, but your friend is not telling you the whole story.
He has been to many therapists claiming he has un uncontrollable urge to upgrade his printer (even though the current model has been kind and true.) Each of these therapsits (quite rightly) asked to see the former printer in situ to determine the "environment" of the relationship.
Well - you may be shocked to know that he had an "accident" when showing his affection to the printer. As a result - he is too embarrassed to go home and wants to get a new printer and a new house to live in.
Don't believe me, huh? Well I may need to break doctor-client privilege and show you the evidence - for your own good:
posted by hognogger at 7:36 p.m.
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